Attempting to know how to start this blog post, I paused and took the deepest of deep breaths and let it out slowly through my mouth. I have a feeling that will happen throughout the writing of this whole blog as I reassure myself and compose myself enough to put raw feelings onto paper along with some real suggestions and hopefully a little levity (although, dark humour is my speshiality (I know it’s spelled incorrectly. I hope you read it as I hear it in my head!)…so you have been prepped!)
In a society where the culture has become one of anxiety fueled by busyness, impossible standards, and judgement from behind the safety of a screen, we are suddenly faced with something that is calling on us all to suddenly stop. We suddenly have time to truly face ourselves without the mask of “I’m too busy!”. We suddenly have nothing between us and the emotions that we tried so hard to keep at bay. We have time to think. To watch the rest of the world. To wonder about the safety of ourselves and our loved ones. To assess our current trajectory.
In our household, we have the compounding factors of trauma coupled with “knowing too much” with the combination of a nurse brain and a military brain. In our house, usually, when anxiety spikes and the triggers come, we have the ability to look at the world around us and assess the current situation and analyze with pretty pinpoint precision what is reality and what is remnants of trauma. Right now, the anxiety we feel is a normal reaction to the reality around us. The tears we cry are for the current situation. The fear that floods in at times and causes our hearts to race is founded. And, in this, we find some comfort. For once, we are “normal”.
Because we have experience dealing with anxiety, trauma, and panic, we also are already better equipped to deal with the surges of emotions we feel these days. We are able to take that deep breath. We are able to shake it off. We are able to grab our comfort songs and dance it out. We are able to contact our friends and supports and talk it through. We are able to give ourselves permission to feel it and let it move through us. We are able to rest. We are able to grab ourselves by the face and look ourselves in the eye and say, “Ok. It’s ok for you to be feeling that way. Remember, you have survived bad stuff before and you have chosen to be stronger. Now get up and get at least one thing done today that will bring you joy and make you see some beauty. You got this!”.
Ok…so the humour portion didn’t really get hit on this time! Let’s see.
Nobody because we should all be at home practicing physical distancing!!
I’m right there in the trenches with you. Well, each in our respective trenches, but still all connected. We’ve got this!
DANCE. Fight. CARE.
P. S. Watch me live here to hear the meaning behind the mural on my face at the top of this post.